I am amazed at the strengths that I have acquired over the past few months. To what seemed to be a regular day to everyone was indeed a sacred opportunity for me. I went live on television without wearing my compression tights. It was a beauty segment in which the focus was not on my full body but I seized the moment and let my full beauty shine. Of course, I was not 100% confident as I noticed the question marks on people's faces, but bottom line is I DID IT! Doesn't it get easier every time it's done?...It certainly does!...You just have to keep going until it becomes a lifestyle.
Getting the confirmation from my agent for this show was a great sign that l am on the right path as I've been working on different things, going to every castings and wondering when the heck things will look up. I was even more happy to hear that the models get to style their own self because I wanted to be all that I can and face my fears. I waited patiently for the day to come. I picked out clothing that was not only fitting for the show but soul freeing. To my surprise anxiety kicked in the same day of the show. It was an exciting morning for me but l was also afraid of the producers saying no (because unique beauty is not fullly accepted in the fashion industry at all). My anxiety almost prevented me from grasping the opportunity to live in the moment.
Let's talk about anxiety for a moment. Do you have it and how do you cope? Anxiety is real and it can instantly rob you off your joy. In my case, I refused to allow it. I spoke to myself for a while, I repeated my affirmations over and over until l felt strong enough to speak up, then I spoke to the producer. It's as if she was as ready as I am, she said "YES of course, I support your positivity". I lost it! I was so thrilled to hear that!. I was welcomed to own my truths outloud. Somehow my nerves was working overtime and I started to think of all these negative outcomes. I eventually told myself to shut up!..sometimes you've got to. There's always this small voice of uncertainty, the voice telling you that you can't and reminding you of your past and who you're not. I TOLD IT TO SHUT UP! Somehow, we are all in bondage with fear, but it is up to us to shut it down by any means necessary.
Finally it was time to face it.. I walked out on stage with great pride, sat down and waited on my turn. The fight that went on behind the scenes was as great as the fight that went on stage but this time I was in control. Sitting in front of the audience locking eyes with a few people and seeing the question marks displayed on their faces was terrifying, but I have seen those looks too many times before. Sometimes the looks are judgmental and at times they are totally innocent from people who genuinely wants to be educated. Whatever the looks meant, I was overwhelmed with my growth with owning my truths outloud. I decided to not be intimated by the looks because this was my moment and nothing would take that away from me. I DID IT!
When you have something that you want to do, you have to develop the courage to do it. Otherwise, you will lose your nerve and start listening to people who are telling you that your dreams has no value. Your willingness to push forward while loving you entirely will open up doors that others will never be able to close. I DID IT
I seek opportunities and I make the best out of everything. I am celebrating today and always because I am finally living. Every little step counts!. I look forward to the day where beauty of all shapes, sizes, color and abilities would be explicitly celebrated around the world.
Thank you team at the Social...
Thank you Julie Hamulecki
I DID IT!
IT WAS AT THIS VERY MOMENT I WANTED TO CRY....tears of joy of course......