I BECAME MORE DEPRESSED. Anxiety and insecurities had a greater effect on me in comparison to the actual physical pain. I battled with turbulent mood shifts and self-consciousness. I became numb to my abilities as I was confused and aimless. I worried so much and even worried that I worried too much. My pains and trials were completely unbearable. I completely stopped wrestling with my inner-self and caring about not feeling or looking good, I stopped caring about life all together because I believed there was no purpose. Severe episodes of pains and complications …Blood clots and heart failure became my life. I was convinced that I am going to die sooner than anticipated. Somehow, I still found some strength deep within by trusting God in the process. It was as if I was losing faith but yet still continued to stay steadfast in my belief. I garnered some more hope and took the chance to see other doctors for further suggestions and care. I got referred to yet another specialist. He saw me but couldn't help. I then got referred to the next specialist who subsequently referred me to a dermatologist. It seemed like there was a perpetual cycle of referrals from one specialist/doctor to the next. I remembered so vividly that the last doctor I saw in this seemingly endless cycle, mentioned that I only have two options; to either cut the leg off, or wear a special boot for the rest of my life. Gosh! I thought, this isn't getting any better and these were not options that I was willing to entertain. Time was ticking for my life to end! In utter distress, hopeless, helpless and mind so cancerously affected, I continued to smile my way through life while dying mentally.
Again, I got very ill and ended up being admitted in the hospital. At the hospital, when I had no more energy left, no more strength to fight, no more hope, no more peace, passion and no more purpose... it was then, that God sent me an angel…I met Dr. Garnette in Orlando Fl. When he visited me, I briefed him of my situation with little hope or enthusiasm (as I was reminded that I've been through the same scenarios many times before to no avail, therefore, he wasn't going to be of any help). He did not know what I have for sure, but he noticed the protruding veins the extra-large muscle mass and bumps that were apparent. I saw him a couple of times and next thing I knew, I was under the knife. Subsequently, I did several surgeries and follow-up sclerotherapies to fix the veins. However, more superficial veins continued to form and my leg swellings became 10 times worse. I was recommended to wear compression stockings to help with the swelling and to keep my veins under control.
Moving to Canada, I became hopeful thinking that I would get an answer. With all the anxiety, pain, curiosity and depression that were present, I wanted to have a new start. History began to repeat itself. This time it was a different type of pain that I don't believe I had ever experienced. The cold winter months were brutal as they triggered an even more adverse effect with regards to the symptoms of my syndrome. However, I had great hopes that I would find medical help in Canada. To my surprise, it was just as bad as the U.S and possibly even worse. I found myself going from one doctor to the next…specialist on top of specialists. . I went through several doctors, specialists, surgeons and dermatologists even though my syndrome runs deeper than my skin. I've had it! It's beyond anyone's imaginations on how one could be visiting so many doctors on different occasions just to be overlooked; get the same tests done with no different result; ask the same questions; hear the same lines that they've never seen such a thing before and then get prescribed pain killers and antibiotics. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to deal with not knowing what I’m suffering from. I knew no one with this syndrome, so I was convinced that I was alone. I felt alone and my life was a living hell!
At last, when all hopes were gone and no one to turn to, it was recommended that l seek help in Cuba. I flew to Cuba in search for help. I went in the hospital with positive feelings. I was so eager to finally find out what I have; do some research and take the proper precaution(s). At last, I walked in, greeted the female doctor and we talked a little more about my passion and family background. Just before I started to explain all of my issues, I was asked to take off my pants. She touched the leg, squeezed it a little, she did some examining and lastly asked me to confirm some of my symptoms as she was naming them. And behold, she told me exactly what I had. It was then I finally found out the name of my syndrome. I was happy and relieved but I was sad at the same time. I was happy that I finally had a name for my sickness. However, I was sad that there isn't a cure and/or permanent treatment for it as per the doctors. Nevertheless, I left Cuba grateful and hopeful that the information gathered would help the doctors in Canada. Needless to say, it did not.
I am forever grateful for the amazing doctors in Cuba, especially the female doctor who made my quest come true.
Today I AM STRONG AND ECOURAGED. I celebrate clarity, growth, courage and hope.
NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!